whiskey-memories:

bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me

(Source: u-ltravi0lets, via saddestonline)

snowmiserr:

one time I was working at Dolly Parton’s water park as a photographer in the lazy river, and taking pictures and what not and I look up and see this very familiar black man floating in a tube toward me. 
and it is Akon.  So I’m like ‘hey Akon would you like a picture with your family today?’ He is all like ‘no thank you sweetie’ and I was all “well you have a good day, Akon” 
he said you too and floated on.  

(Source: landofbluesmoke, via flaws-and-insecurities)

pityreblogs:

sweat is just your body crying because it wants you to stop moving

(via some-mainstream-hipster)

vandalswithjetpacks:

The idea that people had sex before the 20th century really freaks me out. Like George Washington probably got a blow job and that makes me uncomfortable.

(via radical-planet)

snlofficial:

when ur crush talks about how hot someone else is

(via ryaninwonderland)

lcate:

*sells my virginity at a yard sale*

(via kabieexo)